Like it happened, but it didn’t happen, ya know?
In some ways, I feel as though April was a wasted month. What was supposed to be a month jammed packed with activities — cheerleading, basketball, kickball, coaching, Girl Scouts, bootcamp, etc — was instead a month that was just blank.
For the first time in years, our family calendar was completely blank.
And even though we’ve managed to settle into a pretty good routine for the kids and their “distance learning”, my own personal routine was severely lacking.
Instead of juggling sports and extra curricular activities along side taking care of my business and the house, I found myself juggling the well intentions of every group my family belonged to.
Girl Scouts was posting multiple times a day with badges my daughter could earn from home. Teachers were emailing all the things every day to make sure students and parents had the resources and support to engage in distance learning. Work out groups went virtual and splintered into small teams and a point system to help keep participants motivated. Various other organizations went virtual or offered pick up services.
And while I absolutely appreciate and applaud everyone for everything they are doing, for me, it was just too much in too short a time frame.
I was supposed to lead a book club discussion for an organization I volunteer with, and I completely fell off the radar with it — if y’all happen to be reading, I am sorry.
By the end of the month, my anxiety was sky high. I just couldn’t keep up with everything. For a lot of it, there just wasn’t any structure. I could count on one group to post certain things on certain days, but the material always changed. Another group would post the same material, but they would post 3-4 times a day.
In the rush to adapt to make everything virtual and accessible from home, I began to lose sight of the reasons why I joined these groups.
I started to shut down. I deleted apps off my phone, turned off notifications for the ones that were left, unfollowed pages and muted people. I was even ready to walk away from a group that is very near and dear to my heart.
I was more overwhelmed in April, when my calendar was completely bare, than I have ever been during months when my calendar is so full and color-coded, you’d weep at how beautifully and masterfully I’d manage to schedule the lives of two working parents and two kids involved in all the things.
But I actually have, um, friends now. And many of them offered gentle support and guidance when and where I needed it. They didn’t let me disappear into myself. They didn’t let me wallow in pity for having some bad weeks in regards to my fitness journey. For that I’m grateful. Thank you.
So in that respect, April didn’t really happen.
But also, in another way I didn’t expect at all, April happened. April happened in a big way.
I picked up three new clients and I’m on the verge of picking up two more. I am pretty much completely booked out (at least for now — once the kids are back in school, I can open my availability up some more).
We bought the kids a monstrosity of a waterslide for the back yard — an expense we couldn’t have afforded if I didn’t have new clients.
The lease expired on my car and in talking with the dealership, learned exactly how improved mine and my husband’s credit score has become…so I have a shiny new car in my driveway now.
Those are all big, exciting things that happened in April.
I may not have made as much progress in my fitness journey as I would have wanted and my kids may not have gotten to participate in the activities we had planned for, but momentum (my word of the year) was definitely made in a professional capacity.
And because my professional career is adapting and adjusting, this newsletter is adapting and adjusting, too. I think we’re all still in a state of adapting and adjusting, tbh.
The biggest change is that I’m now calling this space “musings & magic” and that instead of releasing it every new and full moon, I’ll just be releasing it once a month.
I hope you’ll stick around, but understand completely if this is where we part ways.
Onto the magic.
So I treated myself to this new deck, because I fully partake in retail therapy. It’s gorgeous, and I’m excited to work with it in my spiritual practice.
May is looking beautiful — just look at these positive, radiant cards! Like this honestly feels just like rainbows, lollipops and the perfect cup of cold brew.
First let’s examine the 10 of Materials (aka 10 of Pentacles). The tree is in full, glorious bloom. This is a card that points to success, accomplishments and even wealth…especially in terms of money and material wealth.
Whatever you’ve been working on or towards, it’s time to start reaping the fruits of your labor. Splurge a little. You deserve it.
Walking in the world as nothing but yourself and doing things your way, with your heart, will create a funnel for material magic and success.
When we pair the 10 of Materials with the Sun, May looks so abundant. Like literally #blessed is the mood for the month of May.
Even if you are dealing with shadows and darkness, the Sun urges us to slow down and find the bright spots. Sit with yourself (oh, and do it out in the sun!) and your thoughts and welcome all that radiant positivity into your world.
We’re on the verge of summer, so if nothing else, take a moment to sit in the sun and count your blessings.
Thank you for subscribing to musings & magic. The next issue will release during the first week of June. In the meantime, if want a personalized tarot reading, you can book a reading with me here. Or, if you’re just curious about the muse behind the musings, you can find me on Instagram.